Tag Archive | random

General Hospital

I have been watching General Hospital since I was a small child. Perhaps my entire life through, my mother and sisters. Over the years us girls watched Days of our Lives and General Hospital. I am the only one who still watches. I tried forcing it on my kids over the kids. My oldest watched until a few years ago. My son stopped the second he realized what I was forcing him to watch. My youngest watches with me faithfully. I know I can only count on that for so long so I will continue to cherish it.

For the past few years the story lines have been very predictable, repetitive and at times downright annoying. Somehow, my morbid curiosity forces me to watch each day and at times look forward to it.

The past few weeks, the show is on fire! It is finally interesting, finally semi-unpredictable and truly entertaining. I am glad I spent 40 years paying attention as now they have brought back old storylines and infused into current storylines and they actually halfway make sense, and they have been able to pull old footage and ad into make the stories more believable.

I am impressed and a little sad that it is Friday and only one more episode for the week.

The good thing is there is plenty of tv to keep me watching. Gotta love NetFlix.

BBQ Brisket

I found this picture among my own, although I don’t shred my brisket on a board, so I am guessing this must be from somewhere online I saved for one reason or another. Anyway credit to google I guess.

Yesterday I was heading to Publix , our favorite grocery store. I told my daughter what you you like for dinner tonight. We were thinking Steak Fried Rice. So we went straight for the steaks only to see we were not impressed with any we saw for that meal, however there was this brisket just sitting there, moved from its corrected spot, looking like a lost item that will probably not get purchased. I moved it back to the right area to save that fate only to see there were some very nice pieces that were half the price they were last time I purchased.

Dinner plans changed, BBQ Brisket, which I make in the crockpot so really it should just be pulled brisket with bbq or crockpot brisket, Whatever you want to call it , was delicious.

I started off by browning the meat with a little pepper and garlic, and some onion powder. I then added chopped, red, green, orange bell peppers and chopped onion. Then I added a can of Rotel tomatoes with Chile Peppers. Once the meat was browned to my liking I added it to the crockpot. I put the veggies I added a little bbq sauce and turned it on high. About 4 hours in I turned the meat and added more bbq sauce. Then I let it continue to cook until my son was about to cry I was starving him to death. See he is 17 and quite capable of making his own food but when I make certain meals, he reverts back to that little boy who liked being spoiled a bit. My daughter was patiently waiting but she uses her head. If it is a crockpot meal she knows she is going to smell all day and wait forever to eat. I tell them it is anticipation and they should learn to embrace it, they tell me it is torture…

When the meat is ready I take it out of the crockpot, shred it, remove any fat that I may have missed and add it back to the sauce and if needs anymore flavoring, I attend at that time then I let it simmer it the sauce while I make a quick pot of rice, or yellow rice or in last night’s case it was mac and cheese. I will admit it has been about a year since I have made boxed mac and cheese and I bet it may be 10 years before I buy it again. Totally lost my taste for it, would rather have plain egg noodles or rice with that meal anyway.

Learning to cut back on sodium is something I have been working on for years, as my daughter was on dialysis for 8 years, but I never really cut it out I just cut back and for as little as she eats it always worked but now that she is older and eating more I am truly learning to cut it out where I can, buy lower sodium versions of certain items and use fresh ingredients for flavors as much as possible. You would be amazed the flavor that comes from a chile pepper.

Kashmir…..

Shared from Youtube, if I need to state that to be on the up and up and all that.

So there are some days where no matter what your mind is a blur and you just need to escape it somehow.

Just got home from pre-op with my 12 year old. She is going in to have her scoliosis corrected. They will be putting in titanium rods and fusing a good part of her spine after they straighten out her ribcage.

I have known about this surgery for a very long time. It was scheduled for 6 months ago but she was not healthy enough to proceed at that time. She had her native kidney get infected and months of antibiotics that eventually led to surgery.

Anyhow after this day, I still had to meet up with her teacher and have a little school. See hospital homebound is a great program with little funding. If students miss days they lose funding, when a child misses on certain weeks it makes bigger impacts and this was one of those weeks. So we rushed to get in a little school and just now it’s 5 in the evening and I am quite thankful I threw dinner in the crockpot this morning.

I have several things I should be doing right now but quite frankly I am in my room, with my door shut and the music blasting as loud as my half broken sound system will go.

When my mind gets this stressy as I call it there are a few things I can do and one of the first ones is always blasting something that will bring me to a different time, a different place a mindset that was free and simple, no real responsibilities, no real people actually counting on me for anything.

The time and place right now in my mind is a much simple fun time, back of Lorenzo’s alley way on 249th and Union, hanging out sipping beers and blasting music, my first introduction to teenage life, my now I am old enough and cool enough to stand in a street alley, freezing my butt off killing myself with smoking and drinking and thinking there is nothing better than this. My life free and simple.

Blasting music from this time of my life is so easy for me, so familiar and yet so so far away. 25 years since I lived in NY 25 years since I really had friends, people to hang around with people who believed in me and trusted me. My childhood, teen neighborhood friends, school friends and all that.

In the years since, I have been married twice have 3 children and have surely had my ups and downs over these years .I would not trade them for anything as I love my children more than I could ever imagine an emotion even existed for, but today I just want to hide blast some Zeppelin or the Ramones and ignore the real life that exists on the other side of my door.

 

Well it’s about time, Lisa….

About 1-1/2 years ago I wrote an article about Steroid Psychosis. This is probably the most personal experience I have ever shared here. Here is a link to it if you would like to read: Time has pas…

Source: Well it’s about time, Lisa….

Well it’s about time, Lisa….

About 1-1/2 years ago I wrote an article about Steroid Psychosis. This is probably the most personal experience I have ever shared here.

Here is a link to it if you would like to read:

https://lisabarriera.wordpress.com/2015/08/16/steroid-psychosis-a-personal-experience/

Time has past since I wrote this article. Just now I am finally making my doctor appointments and looking into helping myself. I have been seeing my Ortho for a long time because of my knees. I have been seeing primary because my Blood Pressure and I have now started seeing Rheumatology  due to the my joint pain and my primary saw something in my blood work that thought needed more attention.

What I did not deal with was my mental. My emotional status. My ability to look at the past of my life and love what was great and let go of what was not. I have made great strides in some areas and horrible in others. I have not been able to force myself to diet, to stay on an exercise routine. Some days I do great and I make efforts and others I can barely just take care of my kids and that is the best I can do.

I listen to other people, they tell me their problems. I hear them, I feel for them and I look at how much is stuff they could have controlled had they really been paying attention. I know for myself, I have let certain things happen. I could have stopped them but it would have changed everything and I was too afraid of the change, did not want to be the butt of more bad decisions, therefore hearing how all my decisions are bad somehow or another really screws with my self esteem.

When I read about that last year of my husbands life, and I read how I was feeling when I wrote that article it makes me feel those emotions all over again.I woke up yesterday, totally disturbed. My mind would not turn off. I was distraught at something that was said about me a long time ago and I thought I put it to smash, yet clearly it is still an open topic of discussion by people who have done nothing but lie and been lied to. Not by me I just went along with it. My husband said it is none of their business(meaning anyone) and he would not tell the truth about things that honestly there was no reason to lie about. Simple things like his brother inviting him over and him saying oh I can’t go because we have to do this or that, when in all reality we just had no gas in the car. He would tell his family that he had money from this or that, rather than no my wife pawned her ring so we could pay the light and buy this birthday present for you. Or even better They gave it to me. Who was they ?(no-one) why would they just give it to you. But funny they never questioned this. He said it, surely it must be true, although they are always the type that even if they do something nice to you they would say don’t tell anyone, I did this.

See if you are always lying, chances are you will believe others are lying too.

I have nothing to lie about. I tell the truth in my writing. I share information that is not anyone’s business yet I feel like sharing it and I do. I don’t deny that my father taught me the value of money, he taught me to invest and all kind of smart things. I heard him but clearly I was not listening. I have managed to be in my 40’s. Not a dime in the bank or anywhere else. No 401K no savings, no retirement plan, and to top it off just about no income. I was taught better, I just did not learn. When my daughter(my youngest) came into this world as sick as she did , I had no idea what the future would hold, and quite honestly income, and savings and money was rarely a thought, only to get through the month with bills and keep the kids happy- or happyish. We did our best. I worked full time he stayed with the kids. With the little one having a million appointments and all it truly worked out of the best. When I lost my full time job everything went hectic for a bit but we figured it out. I got a part time job, he found some apartments to manage part time and we made do. When he passed, all those appointments became mine. My daughter got listed on the transplant list and well if you read some of my other posts you can pretty much see where we are at now.

Finally I have made an appointment with a psychiatrist.

This appointment is way past due as I should not still be so upset about the comments being made. I should still not wake up and see my husband trying to choke me. I should not sleep three hours a night and then struggle for the next 6 with my brain and any combination of emotions until I finally knock back out due to exhaustion, unless we have an appointment and there I will be up again for the day only making the sleepless pattern continue.

I am going to find a way to live with all this pent up emotion. Figure out is it anger, is it depression and anxiety, is it fear that I loved someone so much that seeing him go crazy made me go crazy?I don’t have a clue, could it be everything I see with my daughter. Could it simply be lack of support or what I don’t know but in about 6 more weeks I will be able to start working on that. Good thing I am not suicidal as long as the appointments take to get but what can you do at least with my lack of income , I am getting medical help.

Don’t wait this long , it is to overwhelming.

 

First step….

It was a simple gesture, saying welcome back on the board in Angel’s room. To a casual observer it may not even be noticed. To me, as the aunt of one of the most amazing people I know, that gesture was symbolic of the many years of love, heartache, triumph and hope that we have […]

via In Order to Get Anywhere, We Must Take the First Step — Marie Cheine

Have I ever told you about the time at KFC?

About 13-14 years ago, I was recently divorced and wanted  a bigger different place as I had just been promoted at work and was financially comfortable. Who knew fast forward to today I would be in such an uncomfortable place . Oh well that is not what this story is about. So I purchased a 3 bedroom 2 bath mobile home. It was nice-ish anyway. It had some cosmetic needs but it was not in bad shape and the area was nice for me being a single Mom. So I decided I wanted to rip up the carpeting all around the place and replace some areas with wood, which I actually did laminate wood look for the majority of the home.

Let’s be a little more honest here and say I did not put down the laminate flooring I hired a neighbor and then other neighbors offered to help and well anyway by the time the day came to put the floor down there were about 11-12 people at my house.

So now it is getting to be early afternoon and I needed to now feed all the people who were there. Truthfully only one person was actually working the rest were drinking beer and well I needed to feed them all. So I decided I would go down the street to Kentucky Fried Chicken, get a couple of buckets of chicken some sides and and stop for some soda’s along the way. So now I convince my sister to come to KFC with me as I don’t want to order all that food by myself. I will admit I was a lot thinner then , than I am now but even so I was not skinny and ordering a few buckets of chicken, well you know that could leaving me open for many comments and or jokes at my expense.

So now I finally go into the place and I order like 80 dollars worth of food. And the lady behind the counter says  to me is that to stay or to go. Now I don’t know what your response would be , but mine was Yes and Can I have a Diet coke with that.

I laughed and laughed the entire way home and to this day my sisters will joke with me and say Do you want a Diet coke with that, and we just crack up.

I am glad to say with all the problems of the world I can still look back and reflect on a simpler time for me and enjoy the funny memories.