Tag Archive | thoughts

How does this work? If I want to write a novel?

I have been thinking of all the experiences of my life. The experiences that I have lived, the experiences that I read about, the experiences that others have shared with me. This all lives inside my brain. In the place I know there is like a whole series of novels in there , but how. How do you separate the real from the fiction and not crossover lines of deceit? How do you write an entertaining novel, a story someone enjoys reading based on things you know without sharing parts of your story that intertwine with other people’s stories.

I feel like it would be a lot more fun to tell the tales I would love to share, embellished to hide any real identities and enough to add some of the fun stuff that intrigues you to continue reading a story.

I have not always been an avid reader, as a matter of fact I suck in that department all together. I read a lot as a teenager, required stuff and stuff friends offered that they liked. I preferred to read a magazine or talk or something else. It was only in the recent years that I found out how much I enjoy writing. I was a class clown. I went to school to hang out and once 10th grade hit, at the request of the guidance counselor , I joined the CO-OP Program. You go to school one week, and work one week for the entire school year. You get paid not as much as if you just worked there but it was a paycheck, and you got skills experience. We believed that mattered at that time, only 25 -30 years ago.

In addition I had been working at the gas station after school and on the weekends, also back then it was full serve, you actually made min wage and tips, I racked up being a young teenage girl working in a gas station in the cold, in the rain, whatever and I milked it, really milked it. On school weeks I took, how to balance a checkbook, math. I took reading and study hall and aerobics and lunch or whatever I was forced to take. Science and History,although history probably had my attention the best. Never knew it then but looking back at my life I was ADHD as best as you can be. And in addition I do not hear correctly, but I hear perfectly so not really something someone would notice, other than me, I always knew something was wrong with me. I have never been properly diagnosed and have always been self medicating.

I have a lot of stories all tangled up and I would love to explore writing a novel, so if anyone can offer some pros to doing that please please comment and tell me, encourage me.

Enjoying the wonders of nature….

On a cold and rainy Sunday morning. Some of my family and I had the pleasure of being in Orlando Florida. We live in Tampa so it is not a very long trip for us, but with other obligations, appointments, schedules and finances travel is not something we can do very often and certainly not all of us together.

It was my Dad, my oldest Sister and her Son and Granddaughter, my youngest daughter and myself. The day before we actually went to Orlando and even my other sister was there but only for that day. It was a pretty mixed aged group of family , kids and adults. went from 81 right on down to 4. My Dad has his health issues, my sister back issues, me knee issues and my daugher bone disease among of health issues. The other two are basically healthy as far as I know, anyhow.

The cold weather made it slightly uncomfortable on Saturday, but on Sunday it was added rain. It lasted most of the morning and it really not the best day to have spent a fortune on tickets that were only good for that day.

The main reason for the trip was to take my daughter somewhere fun. Her last trip was her Make a Wish, when she was 3 and sadly, she remembers just about nothing of that time. My daughter has been through an awful lot this past year alone, never mind it has been her whole life all 12 years of it so far. One surgery after the next, one trade off for another. She recently spent 5 months in and out of the hospital with urine infection after infection, to finally her native kidney got terribly infected requiring months of antibiotics and finally a nephrectomy. This little lady has been a trooper through all that she had to endure and she continues to be that way on a daily basis. Since transplant she has had a lot of downs and she has major spinal surgery scheduled for 2 weeks from today. We all just wanted her to enjoy some of what life has to offer while she has a break from some of this stuff.

We wound up in Universal Studios, all ready to see Harry Potter world in its full glory. The parks ability to amaze me has not changed in the 10 years it’s been since I was there last. There were tons of new things to see to the point that we did not even see the old things.

We get to the park, decide which side has the attractions we want to see first and head straight to the Harry Potter world. The kids first stop was surely to get a magical wand.We decided to do a ride first and then head over. By the time we walked from the entrance to that area, we were soaking wet and cold. The kids did not care much but for me my knees were crying. My Dad was frozen and my sister was only good when she was walking, once she had to stand still the pain would overwhelm her, sit or keep moving works best. My daughter ignored her issues and went straight for the fun.

Now it is time to see where we will get this wand. We decide we are here we should do the whole Wand Experience. So we get to the line. It is not terribly long as the cold and rain deterred park goers. We had to wait about 10 minutes that felt like and hour for sure. As we wait in the line I am taking in the beauty of the park. The way they designed the buildings to look like the movies. The way they designed it to look cold. The way the snow was atop the buildings truly made me feel like I was meant to be in a cold place, that I was pretty cold. As the line starts approaching the entranceway to the door of the attraction, I am stopped next to a drain pipe. I look down and I see this little yellow flower all wilted and being ravished by the rain, coming through the pipe. It was so simple and beautiful to me. I thought of all the things I will see today I know some will be so big and amazing, but I am sure that my memory of the day will go back to the simple beauty of nature. The one little flower just there for the taking of the rain.

No matter where I go and what I do I try to take in a little bit of the world with me. I remember a time in my late 20’s maybe even my early 30’s I was hanging out with my Dad. Doing something to my home. I think we broke the spigot to the outside water hose and my Dad was fixing for us. So a very big beautiful bird flew in the yard. I said look it’s a Pterodactyl. My Dad stopped what he was doing and said, Really? do you not know what that is , I of course responded with a big bird, I don’t know. He stated you are uncultured. Why, I thought I did a better job teaching you about the world. I felt stupid, like I live in Florida and I should know that was a Crane of some sort. I don’t really remember. I just remember feeling dumb and wishing that I did not say there was a long ago extinct prehistoric bird in my yard.

Over the years I started paying more and more attention to nature surrounding me. I tried to learn the names of things and have made it a point to take photos of interesting things and in turn have better adult type conversations with my Dad, after my mother passed 17 years ago I realized that getting to know him a  person and not just a Dad was pretty important to me and having him like me as a person and not just his kid was equally as important.

When I saw that little yellow flower just hanging on , on the edge of that drainpipe, next to the awesome wand experience of Harry Potter I knew it was something I just needed to discuss….

Well it’s about time, Lisa….

About 1-1/2 years ago I wrote an article about Steroid Psychosis. This is probably the most personal experience I have ever shared here. Here is a link to it if you would like to read: Time has pas…

Source: Well it’s about time, Lisa….

Well it’s about time, Lisa….

About 1-1/2 years ago I wrote an article about Steroid Psychosis. This is probably the most personal experience I have ever shared here.

Here is a link to it if you would like to read:

https://lisabarriera.wordpress.com/2015/08/16/steroid-psychosis-a-personal-experience/

Time has past since I wrote this article. Just now I am finally making my doctor appointments and looking into helping myself. I have been seeing my Ortho for a long time because of my knees. I have been seeing primary because my Blood Pressure and I have now started seeing Rheumatology  due to the my joint pain and my primary saw something in my blood work that thought needed more attention.

What I did not deal with was my mental. My emotional status. My ability to look at the past of my life and love what was great and let go of what was not. I have made great strides in some areas and horrible in others. I have not been able to force myself to diet, to stay on an exercise routine. Some days I do great and I make efforts and others I can barely just take care of my kids and that is the best I can do.

I listen to other people, they tell me their problems. I hear them, I feel for them and I look at how much is stuff they could have controlled had they really been paying attention. I know for myself, I have let certain things happen. I could have stopped them but it would have changed everything and I was too afraid of the change, did not want to be the butt of more bad decisions, therefore hearing how all my decisions are bad somehow or another really screws with my self esteem.

When I read about that last year of my husbands life, and I read how I was feeling when I wrote that article it makes me feel those emotions all over again.I woke up yesterday, totally disturbed. My mind would not turn off. I was distraught at something that was said about me a long time ago and I thought I put it to smash, yet clearly it is still an open topic of discussion by people who have done nothing but lie and been lied to. Not by me I just went along with it. My husband said it is none of their business(meaning anyone) and he would not tell the truth about things that honestly there was no reason to lie about. Simple things like his brother inviting him over and him saying oh I can’t go because we have to do this or that, when in all reality we just had no gas in the car. He would tell his family that he had money from this or that, rather than no my wife pawned her ring so we could pay the light and buy this birthday present for you. Or even better They gave it to me. Who was they ?(no-one) why would they just give it to you. But funny they never questioned this. He said it, surely it must be true, although they are always the type that even if they do something nice to you they would say don’t tell anyone, I did this.

See if you are always lying, chances are you will believe others are lying too.

I have nothing to lie about. I tell the truth in my writing. I share information that is not anyone’s business yet I feel like sharing it and I do. I don’t deny that my father taught me the value of money, he taught me to invest and all kind of smart things. I heard him but clearly I was not listening. I have managed to be in my 40’s. Not a dime in the bank or anywhere else. No 401K no savings, no retirement plan, and to top it off just about no income. I was taught better, I just did not learn. When my daughter(my youngest) came into this world as sick as she did , I had no idea what the future would hold, and quite honestly income, and savings and money was rarely a thought, only to get through the month with bills and keep the kids happy- or happyish. We did our best. I worked full time he stayed with the kids. With the little one having a million appointments and all it truly worked out of the best. When I lost my full time job everything went hectic for a bit but we figured it out. I got a part time job, he found some apartments to manage part time and we made do. When he passed, all those appointments became mine. My daughter got listed on the transplant list and well if you read some of my other posts you can pretty much see where we are at now.

Finally I have made an appointment with a psychiatrist.

This appointment is way past due as I should not still be so upset about the comments being made. I should still not wake up and see my husband trying to choke me. I should not sleep three hours a night and then struggle for the next 6 with my brain and any combination of emotions until I finally knock back out due to exhaustion, unless we have an appointment and there I will be up again for the day only making the sleepless pattern continue.

I am going to find a way to live with all this pent up emotion. Figure out is it anger, is it depression and anxiety, is it fear that I loved someone so much that seeing him go crazy made me go crazy?I don’t have a clue, could it be everything I see with my daughter. Could it simply be lack of support or what I don’t know but in about 6 more weeks I will be able to start working on that. Good thing I am not suicidal as long as the appointments take to get but what can you do at least with my lack of income , I am getting medical help.

Don’t wait this long , it is to overwhelming.

 

Saw this on FB and decided to add my 2 cents.

The Senate voted 51 to 48:
1. To end coverage for preexisting conditions, veterans benefits, and aid to rural hospitals.
2. To remove discrimination protection for women in healthcare.
3. Against the provision allowing children to remain on their parent’s insurance till the age of 26.
4. To cut off funding for the Child Health Insurance Program (CHIP).
5. Against ACA contraceptive coverage and maternity care provision.
6. To direct committees to send budget legislation to defund and repeal the Affordable Care Act.
For those who get health insurance through work, no pre-existing conditions. Lifetime caps for coverage are back for everyone.
Real and disastrous actions are being taken that will affect more than just the 20-30 million people who will lose their health care coverage and the 3 million people who will lose their jobs.
Despite their assertions of this being an action to “repeal and replace,” no viable alternative plan has been proposed.
The House votes Friday.
As of this moment, no replacement exists.
This is sickening. Everyone is on the Get rid of the Obamacare the worst thing that has every happened in the world. Its horrible. Well for my young friends who have received a transplant and are in college and working little jobs to start off their lives they are lost in the shuffle. Angel(my daughter) will be lost in the shuffle. All her little friends from the hospital will be lost in the shuffle. Every day I get collection notices daily from offices because she is medicare, medicaid and CMS except CMS no longer exists, the Children’s medical services is now an insurance company which is your medicaid and they do just about nothing. So people like me who have no income, No LONG LOST INHERITANCE from my dead husband, or his imaginary checks will be covering Angels medical needs. We get so many bills now, They wanted her to have these Ostomy supplies that don’t work because the medical supply company makes no money on them. It is already a sick world we live in but come on healthcare in a country like ours should simply be a given. We should have a sliding scale for every family no matter how little or big is there income and everyone with the same benefits. If you make 300 dollars a month you can’t pay 300 in insurance but you can pay 3. If you make 3000 you can’t pay 2000 but you can pay 300 dollars or something much better than my own, not very educated self can come up with. Well I guess all our transplant patients will have to have 9 jobs to buy anti rejection meds because they are already way too expensive.
Blame it on whoever you want this system is flawed, just as flawed as the welfare system and just as flawed to all the perfect people out there that think they jumping on the bandwagon of any politician that truly has you personally in mind you are only fooling yourself. I don’t get it hope something fixes it soon.

What is everyone binge watching?

I went for a really long time not watching tv. Since I have picked the habit up of Binge watching I can say I love it. I love picking a show and seeing it from beginning to end. I love the feeling of approaching the end and knowing I am going to miss that show. I also know when I am not sure what to do with down time, I have a show I can re-watch while I do regular around the house kind of stuff.

I talk a lot of tv with my sisters. I have a few friends who watch some of the same shows so there is always someone to discuss at least one of the shows I am currently on. I watch most tv with my youngest daughter, the one I always write about@teamangel.

Since she is only 12 I can only watch but so much with her. I can watch other shows with my older children, but my son who is near 17 now gets embarrassed by certain things in my presence. My oldest daughter does not live at home anymore so when she comes over we always wind up talking through anything we put on anyway.

Right now we are currently watching the following shows:

That 70’s Show

Cheers

It’s always Sunny in Philadelphia

Charmed

SuperNatural

Greys Anatomy

Empire

Once upon a time

Better Call Saul

General Hosptial

 

 

and sometimes we like to watch the contest shows on the Food Network and The HGTV shows when we are in the hospital. At home we only have Netflix and Hulu, by choice but it is nice to catch some of the other shows once in awhile.

We are planning to rewatch the last season of Gilmore Girls just before the Reunion or whatever they are calling it comes out end of next month.

I would love to hear what series shows you all have watched. Maybe I have way more to talk about and maybe I could look forward to the suggestions and what you loved about the ones you have already watched or in the process of.

 

In the last few years I have watched the following

Breaking Bad

Weeds

Greys Anatomy- up to current

MadMen

Private Practice

House

Royal Pains

Arrested Development

Orange is the New Black

Part of Narcos- just have not gotten back to yet

ParentHood

Supernatural- up to current

Young and Hungry

SuperStore

Hart of Dixie

Gilmore Girls

Pretty Little Liars

Gossip Girl- never got past the 1st season

I am sure a whole bunch more but they are not coming to me at the moment.

I think I loved all of them in different ways. Breaking Bad took me out of my tv comfort zone

Weeds- Nancy had me cracking up the entire series with her craziness.

House made me feel smart and Grey’s well that just showed me that I am an emotional mess.

I could easily talk about any of the shows I already watched and I am eager to find new and old shows that I have not heard of or had a chance to see.

So tell me about your TV talk!

 

 

To me, All Lives Matter

The picture belongs to me. My daughter and her friends.

 

 

I am truly at a loss here. I rarely watch local news. The reason I don’t watch is because it is truly overwhelming. I live in a pretty crappy part of town. I hear the cop cars, I hear gunshots, and I  hear ambulance and I see the lights from them and the fire trucks sometimes.  This is not every single day. I am thankful for that. I see it enough though. I had several options when I moved here. One was being homeless with a place to stay. My Dad was willing to help me put our stuff in storage and stay with him for a few months. He is  80 years old I could not do that. Well the other option was here. So well here we are. You may personally know me or you may have read my other posts in the past. I have three kids my oldest is on her own now, my youngest is special needs. She has been on dialysis for 8 of her 11 years and her medical condition is complicated and requires a lot of attention and a lot of hospitalizations. I became widowed about 1-1/2 years ago, making me the only one responsible for her needs as well as the bills.

Truly the apartment is great. Better than 4 of the past 5 houses I have rented recently. I live upstairs so I have less fear of people robbing the place. We do have security. I know they are only but so good but it is better than nothing and I believe that most of these shootings seem to be personal of some nature. Maybe it’s drugs? Maybe it is just being poor makes people angry. I know I get angry a lot. My situation can be described as complicating and scary , maybe no education worse people just stop believing that human life does not matter. We see all over social media, hashtag this or that life matters. People jump on the bandwagon, occasionally myself. When these people say this perhaps they mean it but do they. Why is there random shootings occurring every single day in every area all around the country. Why can’t people work things out some other way? Why do they resort to ending another’s life. When did people become so high and mighty on their own high horses and believe they get to choose another person’s last breath? To me this is a time when religious people will find meaning and say it is the time of the end other’s will say well it is our own fault, I say people in my age group, which is mid 40’s. We raised these teens and twenty somethings. For the most part they are the ones running around shooting each other.

When I was younger we fought. I was not much a fighter but had a spat or two. I surely got punched in the mouth for opening it too big and letting the words hurt someone else’s feelings. Eventually we actually became friends but one thing for sure I learned to shut my mouth when it came to stuff like that. Our friends got into fights, they beat the crap out of each other. Every now and again you would hear someone got stabbed and very very rarely did someone get shot. Truth is the few people I knew that got shot was either they shot themselves or someone playing around being stupid. I know a few lives that were lost that way. As sad as that all is it was not vicious. It was not done out of some superiority that they could end the other person’s life. I did not know this but, the other night when my daughter came for a visit. She told me it took forever to get home, something happened and I saw a lot of cops, she tells me. Turns out a cop and guy shootout right down the street. Actually in the parking lot of a local brewery. I am not sure of the outcome. I know someone is no longer here. Just not sure who was the bad guy and who was the one who lost their life. I am sure the details will eventually catch up to me. This is the second type shooting in this particular neighborhood this weekend.

I can’t imagine anyone really want’s to grieve someone they love. Sometimes we have family members who are not our favorite people but they are still ours. Just because Aunt Susie never remembers your birthday or Grandma does not know you are allergic to dairy or Uncle Stan doesn’t remember you don’t eat meat, does not mean you would hope they take a bullet on the way to the grocery store.

I happen to live in a very pretty part of the country, Florida even though I was born in New York and the lifestyle of New York will always be a part of me, Florida has grown on me in many ways. Just the beautiful birds I see regularly. The way Palm Trees wave on a windy day and the crazy Summer thunderstorms. I can’t imagine how you can be in one neighborhood and see the beauty and the next the poverty and run downess of the area.

Take my apartment complex for instance, we have a place to dispose of garbage. We don’t have to wait for pick up twice a  week. For me this is a bonus run down to the dumpster several times a day if need be. This is also a compactor so most of the time there is not an issue of it being full. Why do the people who live here throw trash on the floor? Why do they open their car door and let crap fall out and don’t bother to pick it up? Why are their fry containers sitting on the stairs. Well because the people who live here do not care. They have lost pride in the place they call home and live among people who have given up on caring.That is assuming they cared in the first place. I guess these are the same people who are slowly but surely joining this group of No Lives Matter.

In this world where it seems more and more the No Lives matter group is growing. The youth of today is not being taught that life is precious. They are not being taught to respect the differences of other people and to embrace that there is interesting things to learn from someone else who is different than yourself. They are not being taught that just because something is not going your way, does not mean you end another person’s life. Even in the big bad world of drugs, it should be simple if you have money to buy drugs , well buy them. What would make a drug dealer think that they can loan a drug addict drugs and that person is actually going to pay them back. Reality check, you lost that money! Why kill the person who did not pay you, they did not have money when they were looking for the drugs what would a few hour binge do to bring in steady income, and clearly their drug habit is already ruining their life. Why think that you want something taking it by force is the way to go? I don’t really don’t think so. When did people stop teaching their children to work hard. That if they want something they should earn it. When did hard work become something only people of the past had to do. When did this lowlife way of thinking take over. I am not sure of the particulars. I  don’t get involved in this debate over guns being legal. Criminals do not give a crap about legal so to me the fight is a waste of energy. Criminals will always have guns.

(this is the only paragraph where I added a little detail to my thought and changed a sentence or two)

I think if parents would go back to teaching their young children to love and respect themselves, to love and respect others, that would be our only chance in making progress. When people learn to work through their problems, instead of blasting the neighbor in the head with a bullet, because they stole your parking spot, or some of frivolous problem that should not result in loss of life.

I was taught to talk to people. If there is a problem try your best to talk it out. Yes, you might get punched in the face but well it’s a punch you will live through it. In life there are many many lessons to be learned. I continue to learn everyday. I spend an enormous time in the hospital. I see cops outside of kids rooms, I see gunshots victims in the pediatric area. I see abuse and I see actual disease. These are things your eyes can never forget once you see them. If every person had to spend one month living the life of someone that used to be healthy and now they took a bullet to the spine and they can no longer walk, no longer hold their urine or bowels,maybe they can no longer communicate? Then maybe they would understand that All Lives matter. The same tough guy with a gun will be reduced when experiencing the other end, the actual outcome of all those gunshots. How about a day in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. How about a few hours watching a family and a team of medical professionals try to save the life of a 1 lb baby that’s insides were born on the outside instead. Maybe then they would see just how precious life is? Or would they still go out and blast someone because maybe they had a warrant and did not feeling like dealing with whatever trouble they found themselves in previously.

People who need a gun in order to protect themselves to go to the grocery store, really don’t need protection. They are afraid to fight for themselves, as my Dad would say they are cowards. (he taught us girls never be a victim, don’t walk around like a victim and you won’t be a victim, if something bad happens it’s a bad event and we will figure out a way to deal with it) (My Dad is the Greatest!)  so they take a gun, just in case someone upsets them or frightens them they can shoot. These people don’t care about at all the other people affected by their way of being. When they shoot someone, they are not thinking how it is affecting that person’s Grandma, or best friend, or any other person that surely someone really loves that person, even if they did something to piss you(No Lives Matter-person) off.

I just watched a video from a Pastor, I think his name may have been Greg Locke? but I could not be for certain. I will share that I am not Christian. I have nothing against this religion I am just not it. I happened to agree with about 95% of what he had to say. He started it with exactly what I am writing about and it was so random that I saw this video. I was scrolling through Facebook hanging out with my Brother In Law we were chatting and we started talking about the recent shooting, truthfully I still had and have no clue as to what actually transpired. I did however, have this conversation. I told him I am writing an article about just that. He said watch this video I put up. So I started it and stopped right away to show him where I was so far, to show him I am on the exact same page as this guy, how random and cool is that. On the other hand it should be on the minds of everyone.

Our country is mixed up of all kinds. We are simply Americans. Until we give up being hyphenated Americans this will not change. Funny I will tell you what my family is made up of and I will not , do not and will not ever change them nor refer to them as anything other than family and Americans. So basically my heritage is European, My father’s side is mostly Hungarian, My Mother’s side Russian and Polish. My first husband’s Father, I am almost certain was From the Bahama’s but I could be wrong it is an island though for sure. His mother’s was West Indian and I am almost certain her family may have been Mexican. I don’t know the exacts but my parents were born in the United States, His parents were born here also, some of my Grandparents were born here the others came here in the early 1900’s. I am pretty sure the same for him. My second Husband was half Puerto Rican and half Italian. His mother was from Puerto Rico, not sure about her parents. His Father was born here and don’t know anything about his parents. So we have white,black, spanish and mixed, family members. My nephew’s father is from Russia came to the United States in the 90’s. I know my family is mixed up. If I start throwing in religions you will see just how mixed up we truly are. We have Jewish, Catholic, Christian, Jehovah’s Witness, Atheists and probably more that I don’t know about.

Truly we are all Americans. We don’t talk about white Aunt so and so or Black Uncle so and so, We don’t mention any of it unless we are trying to actually describe someone to someone else who does not know us. We are not hyphenated Americans. Our white side does not refer to themselves as European-American, Jewish-American, Russian-American. We are simply Americans. Our Black side does not refer to themselves as African-Americans, They don’t refer to themselves as Christian-Americans they are simply Americans. Our families had nothing in common until I brought us together. Divorced, 17 years passed and we are still family. We still talk to each other and refer each other as family. My second husband’s family is different. They don’t mention their Italian side very often, they don’t refer to themselves as anything other than Puerto Rican.Some of them do have American pride but not all of them. I always used to tell my husband you were born here you are an American. Have you been to Puerto Rico(yes when he was 2 or 3) not enough, you were born and raised here. You are an American. Yes his family came here more recently so maybe that is why they are more that way. I am not really sure. I don’t raise our daughter that way. She is American. All three of my children are mixed in some way. My two oldest are from my first husband and my youngest is from my second. Just because they are mixed does not change the fact that they are American.

I fuss with my oldest daughter all the time because she always wants to tell me something about White People, Always bringing up race cards that to me don’t exist(logically I know they exist I just choose not to let it be part of my world). If you choose to allow this to exist in your world that is your business but not in my home. I know we have differences. That is what makes the world not so boring. We are all different, even with all of our similarities. Reality is we all bleed the same. We all shit the same and we all breathe the same. There maybe be other issues that we face. I know a Black man will face certain things in his lifetime that will be specific to his struggle. I know a Jewish man will too face certain thing in his lifetime that will be specific to his struggle and so on, we could go through every nationality and religion and find these specific struggles to that ethnicity.  That is not supposed to separate people, if anything it should bring them together. This battle of separating ourselves from one another due to races and religion is pure foolishness.I will admit it is reasonable if you went to another country, you would try to find people that were similar to yourself to maybe you would not stand out or you would find some comfort zone. But in today’s age that is more of a problem than a solution. Don’t most of your religions preach peace? Don’t most Pastors, and Priests and Rabbis , etc, teach peace. Do they not teach you the 10 commandments? As far as I know religion is supposed to be a moral compass. It is supposed to guide you into spirituality and guide you to follow the laws of the land.  We are not supposed to lie, cheat, steal and murder. Ending another’s life should never be our call. I was brought into this world with only one certainty and that is I will die. I started the process of dying the moment I came into this world. Who gives another a right to decide when that process ends for me or you for that matter.

I could only hope and dream that people start teaching their children to respect one another. Teach them to work through problems. Teach them that although we all have differences there is something worth knowing about in all people. Me, being the person who forever finds good in people even when they are bad, still finds a way to teach it to my children. They argue with people just like anyone else but they never resort to any violence unless that was their last resort.If they have to resort to fighting then I expect they don’t stay hit, but I surely teach them to use their brains first. I know I can only teach my children but so much. I know that the older they get the more they will have to make these decisions about life and people on their own. I only hope the things I tried to instill worked. I stop them when they try to bring up race card, unless of course they are telling a story and that is the only way to describe. I am one with a crazy sense of humor so surely my children tell stories as crazy as I do.  My children can tell me anything and everything but they have learned what I won’t listen too, I can’t stand hearing racial type comments from my children you can’t allow it from your children or they will become more of the problem. I tell them you can’t listen to some politician to say Make America Great you have to be proud to be an American and you have to make it great. Until then I can only hope that will people will not only jump on the bandwagon( and actually do something not just on social media)and start living a life where- All Lives Matter!

This article has been edited. A comment made me self-conscious so I made a little change in wording and hope it reads better and more to the point- If you read my blog you already know focus is not my strong point!