So now they tell me, ugg….

My daughter has been taking a medication for her Gastroparesis, a disease where the muscles in your stomach do not cooperate. The muscles fail to do their job causing the food in your stomach to just sit there. It takes many many hours to digest and what it does not digest you are likely to throw-up. My daughter takes this medication called Reglan. Reglan is supposed to speed up the motility doing the job the muscles are failing to do. She spends a ridiculous amount of time throwing up. The poor kid and I joke about are you sure you want to eat that, think about later when you throw it up. It sounds gross but what am I supposed to do allow a 12 year old to feel bad about this, obviously no, so joking gets us through and well lots of trips to lots of doctors also keeps us going. So yesterday we finally went to see the GI doctor. There is always some issues with these doctors and us. Either they cancel us due to doctor emergencies or we cancel them due to my daughter’s other health issues. Well we finally saw them outpatient. I am talking with them, explaining what has been going on since discharge and what we need their help with. So she asks me how much Reglan are you giving her. I explained she was discharged with 7 ml 4 times a day. She said that she needs to be on a much lower dose as higher doses cause involuntary muscle spasms that can become permanent, there can be other neurological issues but mostly more throwing up, diarrhea, nausea , fatigue, restlessness and on and on. Ugg wouldn’t it be nice if they would tell you about all this crap before, She is constantly tired, constantly having tummy troubles she complains of cramps and pains in her muscles and bones and this medicine can very well be contributing to all of that. Now we know why I let Nephrology handle everything as they warn me knowing how tricky she always is.

The good thing is now she is on half that dose and although we just finished cleaning up from an episode she feels better and we have scheduled an endoscopy to see if we can come up with a reason for the throwing up that may not be the gastroparesis. They can treat it with antibiotics but I think that is a bad idea as she already has very low immune system from her Kidney Transplant and she takes antibiotics daily from that and she is constantly with the urine infections so they are always treating her for that.

Well the life of a Vacterl Association kid is always going to be complicated. Glad at least she has amazing spirit and is fun to be around. I tell her all the time, kid I have cleaned up more of your stuff than the average parent you better be nice to me when I get old!

#TeamAngel

Team Angel- Part 2 in a series

It has been a while since I have written about Team Angel. Well I will tell you it has been one heck of a ride lately. The last time I wrote we were just discovering that Angel’s native kidney was infected and the extent of what it really meant. What it meant was several weeks of IV antibiotics, excruciating pain and a 7 hour surgery. It meant missing the Kidney Walk, Being in bed on Halloween( short story insert here) Angel’s Surgery team has known her for a very long time, they are like extended family just like her Nephrology team, so when Angel waited all day for her surgery only to get bumped by an emergency, they decided to hook up her room with all Halloween decorations and loaded her up with pizza, candy, cookies and gatorade. It was pretty awesome of them to make her feel so special, as she is.

Now the Kidney comes out. Her surgeon found so much infection and abscess that when he came out he said it is no wonder the extent of her pain, I can’t even believe she tolerated it that long. Of course he has done many extensive surgeries on her and she never ceases to surprise him with a new complication. That is what Angel does best and as her Mom, caregiver, and best fan and fan club of Team Angel that is what we do best! complication.

So now it has been just over 4 weeks since her surgery. Her new very long scar on her belly crosses over the one she had from her colostomy and its reversal surgeries. It is healing very nicely but still slightly tender. Since the surgery Angel was released from the hospital only to go back a week later after labs with elevated creatinine, and active for The BK virus, EBV and CMV , I believe it was the CMV that admitted her as that is the one that has actual treatment. They can give her an AntiViral called Ganciclovir and it is pretty nephrotoxic so they keep you in the hospital until they feel you can go home on an oral comparison of the medication. Her immune system is so weakened that she has caught a cold and it is still there weeks later, she now has another Urine infection , when I looked up the bacteria the internet says it’s mostly only found in sick people who  have poor health so that made me sad, but since her doctors did not say that I am not letting myself got crazy with thought, as I do a lot of the time.  It is quite difficult to always see your child suffering. There are days when I can do nothing but fight tears all day because I am just so sad she suffers so much. Of course I put on my big girl face and pretend like I am fine 99% of the time.

So now that she is home from the hospital it has been about 2 weeks. She is being treated outpatient for the urine infection and the cold should have been gone a long time ago but the cough is lingering and I would be concerned about it had she not just a saw all her doctors two days ago and they were not concerned. She is on antibiotics that would traditionally be given for a throat infection or sinus infection so if that were the case it would treat that right along with the urine infection, which here lies in the problems we are facing at the moment. She has the urine infection, she has a cough, she has pain in her kidney and less urine output, she was throwing up every day for weeks many times a day and she lost a lot of medication in this time so anything could be going on but as of Tuesday she her labs looked great and her virus panel came back negative of all three viruses and that BK has been lingering around a very long time. We go in tomorrow morning for labs and I am expecting that they will keep her although I of course hope not.

I have some errands I need to attend to, my driver side window in my car has been stuck up for months. It is driving me crazy as going in and out of the parking garage and opening the door people think I am going to rob them, I can’t go through a drive through anything without the same look and honestly I live in Florida it is the only time a year I can drive with open windows and I look forward to that. So my son who is 17 and knows nothing about cars takes apart the door , halfway through he says we need to go to grandpa’s house I need tools. What he needed was Grandpa to walk him through it. Come to find out the piece that needed replacing was stuck to the glass so they decided can’t fix. All night my kid pondered that window and went back out to try again the next day , after many hours of him having my car apart, Angel called her Uncle and said Jacob has a problem can you come help him. So they decide we will go to the junkyard yesterday and get the new part which we did only for them to shatter the glass while putting it in. Of course the Junkyard was already closing and it is a good 25 minute drive over there. So now I have no window and I need to fix that today so tomorrow if they keep her I will be ok leaving my car , I would hate leaving it wide open in a parking lot or garage.

There is always something going on with us. The good thing is we have gotten a lot of love and support from friends and family. My brother in law had a musical fundraiser for our family which allowed me to pay the remainder of my bills for November and get  my Dad and Son a birthday present. It may seem minor to some but it feels terrible to be so broke you can’t even do that. I am quite thankful that we got to be home for my Dad’s 81st birthday, Thanksgiving and my sons birthday. Since we basically spent the past several months in the hospital this is a true blessing to be home.  We have decided not to call back her Back doctor until after the holidays as her back surgery was supposed to be done in September and it is a very big surgery so we need her to be at optimal health before she gets that one done and then we will start dealing with Urology.

Angel’s trip is still on hold as she is not ready to be traveling right now. She is not really up for it yet I don’t think and going to New York in the Winter seems like a great idea but she has never experienced that kind of cold and with all her pain that might not make for a great trip. I don’t want her to need pain medicine just to enjoy it. We have told the nice lady who has sponsored Angel for this wish our concerns and that maybe she could change her wish to sometime more local so it will be easier to plan and closer to our hospital if need be. An hour drive is not unreasonable but on the other hand it is her wish and she should get exactly what she wants not what is convenient so it is a tough call. Either way she will get to do something amazing and I will do my best to make it as fun as I possibly can for a Mom anyway…

 

For current updates on Angel’s story you can always find on her facebook page @TeamAngel

https://www.facebook.com/teamangelraye/?fref=ts

#TeamAngel

 

to be continued…….

 

Team Angel- 1st of series…

I have written before about my Daugher Angel and have shared some of our lives. Thingscontinue to be complicated with my girl. She is now 12 but she is turning the corner towards 13, as she adorably tells me. In the past 2-3 years my family has been through a lot of change and we are trying to work towards what will be normal. When we get there it will be time for my son to head off to college I hope or whatever is going to be his future. My oldest daughter is 23 and lives on her own now.

Just about 3 years ago we were moving out of the house we had lived in for 8-9 years. We were moving to a totally new neighborhood to a better house and schools. No sooner did we move into that house than we found out my husband had Terminal Brain Cancer. We went from finding out about this disease and watching this disease eat him alive. I could actually write an entire series about my relationship with him. He was something else I used to call him Shenanigans as he was always involved in something. Building this, moving that, fixing this, breaking that. He was a good spirited man who had a lifetime filled with mind damaging emotional baggages. He fought through his life by outweighing the bad with the good. Somehow he stole my heart with his unique ways and truly fun to be around. During the time he was sick only parts of our lives could be altered. Angel still needed to go to dialysis and take care of her medical needs. She had Spinal surgery( the same one she just had 4 weeks ago today) the day after her Dad had a brain biopsy. There were 6 weeks where I would take Angel to Dialysis get her hooked up, drive home 45 minutes and get him and my oldest daughter who would take care of him and get him ready, off to radiation then we would usually all go home together, unless one of them needed to be admitted and then my oldest and I took turns driving back and forth taking care of everyone.

He passed on 9 months after diagnosis. Angel went to dialysis the next day. Some people think so what it is routine for her she has been doing this since she was 4 years old. Dialysis is not routine, you make it part of your routine. Any day, any treatment can go from relaxed and laughing to throwing up, or getting fever. Can go from feeling great to needing fluids, because you are crashing. It is a toll on the patient seeing their blood go in and out of them for 3-4 hours, Angel was on 4. It is also difficult on the family members who go with them. They have to hope for good days, hope there is no problems with the machines, or the water, or your access. Then your 4-5 hour day turns much longer. Angel went to dialysis the next day. We came in the afternoon instead of our normal morning the nurses said it will be quieter and be better for her to not be forced to deal with others so quickly. Her dialysis center is her comfort zone. She has grown up there and has been loved by the nurses, taught by the nurses, teased by the nurses and nurtured by them. They have been the same team for a long time and each brings different personality and experience to the unit. It makes for good outcomes during treatments, they notice something is off sometimes before the patient themselves. They also know the I have a tummy ache please play with me to the real let’s call the doctor pains. It is a comfort zone that only a person who experiences should know when they are among good people.

So back to Angel 5 months ago we were told that Angel has the BK virus. This is a virus a lot of people carry. It is likely it came with her transplanted kidney. She has not been able to beat this virus. They have taken her off this medication, started her on that and so on. It came down to Infusions every two weeks. During that time she caught many urinary infections. She was running low grade fevers on and off and something was not right. She was admitted many times. Each time the stay was about 10 days. She had the first of her spinal surgeries. Although there was complication during surgery she seems to be better from that each day.  2 weeks ago she was admitted to the hospital with terrible stomach pains, low fevers, throwing up on and off, no appetite and non consolable kind of pain. Once we got to the day hospital , the pharmacist who knows us for a very long time said, called the doctor immediately when he heard her cries. He said Dr. P, this is not Angel she does not cry like this. It took 10 days or so to figure out what is truly wrong with her, so much tests. So many things ruled out. We finally got a diagnosis. No wonder she is screaming in pain her native kidney is filled with cysts and totally infected. So now we have a source but what do we do about it. She is still with fevers and terrible pain so how do we proceed. Infectious disease is helping with antibiotics and surgery has weighed in on the we don’t want to take it out. They have already done the following surgeries on that area of her body:

Colostomy

2 Reconstructive surgeries

Colostomy reversal

Kidney  Transplant

Kidney transplant removed

Kidney transplant and Urostomy placed.

She has had many other surgeries but they were on the other side or her back or other body parts.

So now for them to go back in and take out that infected kidney is going to be very hard on Angel and very hard on the surgeon. They will do what they have to for Angel but what does it mean for her health. On Wednesday we will re-evaluate blood tests, inflammatory markers and something else and then a plan will be formed from there.

My daughter is one tough kid and she is no crybaby. They wake her up for blood work and she just fusses about the light coming on. When it is time for meds the most she will do is grunt and sit up. When she is feeling good we go for walks, if she is hungry which is not often I get her whatever I can that she likes. If she wants to play or do arts and crafts we do it but a very good part of the time she sleeps. She likes when the family comes to visit it makes her feel like she has people pulling for her.

She has been really surprised this admission with all the terrible pain and all the crap she has gone through, she has had some good come with it. She won a school raffle and won an IPAD Mini with a case, headphones and an Itunes card. That was so awesome for her she is loving it. Also a friend of ours did a fundraiser with the company she works for and they get her a new outfit and a donation that will be coming. Not only was it something fun to be part of it made her feel loved. People that know her people that don’t were sending her messages.

So hopefully wednesday we will get a good plan. It breaks my heart listening to her cry in pain all night. Some nurses are wonderful and know to have the meds ready that she calls out every so many hours and  others want to go through the process when she is already screaming in pain. I know some people will follow all rules but when in Peds, the rule are meant to be broken when it comes to pain management and comfort.

Today was the first day that she attended Teleclass in over 2 weeks and she was hoping her teacher would come down and see her today also, although it is not a scheduled day.She gave me the greenlight to come home, grocery shop for my son and shower and come back. I am cheating taking a little me time to write. I am glad I can type quick 🙂 .

 

Check back for updates about Angel

if interested you can follow her story on Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/teamangelraye/?fref=ts

 

#teamangel

 

 

 

 

and the journey continues….

I have been blogging about my daughter’s health conditions and her journey’s for quite some time. I don’t have a very big following but that is ok. I am good with whatever comes as it makes me feel good to share her, our journey. It helps me to speak about things, hear it for myself and I enjoy writing sometimes.

While everyone all over the internet is going crazy talking politics, I am mostly quietly sitting in my daughter’s hospital room. I am likely to be doing something for or with my daughter or chatting with our hospital family as I call them. This staff of amazing people that truly continues to grow. This admission has been 10 days so far or maybe it is 11 I can’t even be sure. We have very high hopes of discharge tomorrow and very much looking to be home.

We initially went into the hospital for stomach and back pain and throwing up. She is now 8 months post Kidney Transplant and is having some complications. She has BK virus, which I have written about if you would like to know more, Somehow this particular virus likes transplanted kidneys. It is trying to take over but the doctors are like, nah we are really not going for that. So they have done a few things to try to get it to go away but it is still there and putting up its fight. It is quite likely they will reduce, stop or change what little anti-rejection medication she is still currently taking. With this many things can happen, what we would hope for is that her immune system would increase on its own. We would hope that her body would fight it off. If this does not happen there are not too many options and it is likely it will damage the kidney. I have learned from other families that they have experienced this and the kidney is still hanging on, they just have a lot of complications.

During this admission she has undergone, 3 ivs at least 15 blood draws from all up and down her hands and arms,  She got two shots of pain medication before she could even get an iv placed, she has had kidney ultrasound, and nephrostogram and stent removal and replacement. She has had x-rays to her stomach, a head MRI cultures of everything they could culture and finally the gastric emptying study.

I will hope for the best and understand it is not in my control. I can only do what is best for her and let her have fun and enjoy life.

We found a source of her stomach issues by doing a gastric emptying study. It took about 5 hours, she had to eat some scrambled eggs with some radioactive stuff in it and then take x-rays one time an hour starting 5 minutes after eating. This shows how quickly the food digests and looks like it is very very slow way more than normal. They are going to add a medication to see if it can help with that. Should resolve the stomach pain as long as she is not throwing up or anything else that has been on and off for a little while now.

I am pretty sure she is heading on the other side of this urine infection that she has. She is getting annoyed being in the hospital and when she does not feel good she does not want to be at home wondering if she will go to the hospital she would rather just go. So when she starts feeling better she looks forward to coming home. I decided to come home tonight as it was midnight and I just need to sleep in my bed. I have two knees that need replacing and some joint pain throughout my body and I can do 2 nights in a row but the third night if she is well I come home.The chairs that open are tolerable but the older I get the harder they are to sleep in.  She is 12 and totally has a blast with the nurses when I am not there. Some of the nurse’s and tech’s have cared for her since she was a baby. The interventional radiology department , knows her so well that they sedate her for procedures quite regularly and they are on first name basis’ and she is totally comfortable in their care. She has nurses that just come in the room to get hugs from her , just because. That is the amazing part of this whole journey. It is about the love. The people who come to work to survive their own lives and actually work diligently to save other people’s lives. It is beautiful and amazing and rarely appreciated.

Social Work, worries about paperwork. Make sure you have all of your papers in order. Make sure everything signed. I know they do this to protect the hospital and the patient so I follow formalities. The Doctor’s order tests and work on figuring out the sources of the symptoms. The nurses try their hardest to follow every procedure and always hoping for the best outcome, knowing that sometimes it is going to hurt the patient or maybe scare them. They have to put up with the personalities of the patients, families, doctors , techs,  and other personal , it is so much to do with each patient having constant needs and they get it done, and they show compassion almost all the time. My daughter knows the housekeeping staff, the dietary staff the lady who sits in the front desk information,She is buddies with child-life, she knows the people in admissions and the transporter people and they all do their jobs with the intention of making that hospital a place people can feel confident to trust them when they are already vulnerable.

I am truly thankful for these people I just spoke about but I am also thankful for the experience. I have learned about compassion and empathy and how they interact and are not the same. I have learned strength and vulnerability and I have learned just how far a little information can comfort a racing mind.

I will continue to share bits and pieces of my daughter’s journeys and of other things I decide to write about and I hope somehow sharing her ups and downs along this thing called life, that somehow it will make it a little better to go through. Perhaps her strength will be someone else’s rope when they are falling down and need help back up.

 

 

BK Virus and Kidney Transplants

My daughter received a kidney transplant in 12/2015. She is now 12 years old and she was on dialysis for 8 years prior to receiving her transplant. She has other health issues, besides her kidney disease and it was a combination of reasons that she needed to wait that many years for a transplant. We knew going into it that Kidney Transplant is another treatment option. One of our dialysis nurses constantly reminded us of that. I did not completely understand why until now. She  wanted us to be prepared that although some things will get better others may not. She also saw other patients go through different battles and all of them did not have the best outcomes. Being a medical professional is not simply having the job of hooking someone to a machine, or taking blood or performing a surgery. It is so much more, it is learning to help people understand it all, help people accept it and so many other comforting things that just go along with most compassionate people. I have watched a nurse love my daughter back to health.

My daughter had a failed transplant when she was 5 she was one year on dialysis and all the signs showed it was a great time for her to receive a transplant. We all tested to see if any of our family members could be a live donor. This was not the case and she went on the National Donor List. She received the kidney, surgery went great, first night went great and then the urine output slowed down. Then she stopped breathing then came intubation and a very long recovery. During that time the kidney failed and she wound up in a medically induced coma to try to heal her. She had surgery they removed the failing kidney and back on dialysis she went. During that time one of her dialysis nurses came daily to give her dialysis and she would read to her, love on her, talk to her and pray for her. She not only did her job but she went miles above it. That was the only time her Dad and I would feel comfortable to go home together, shower and pay a little attention to our other children and family things that needed to be done like laundry every now and again and giving the other kids some kind of stability. Luckily for us our kids are amazing and they took care of cooking and cleaning and going to school and just doing what they would do if we were home. We were fortunate in those ways.

After the failed transplant, her Dad and I told everyone we will go to dialysis as long as needed or forever to not ever see our daughter like that. She was truly suffering and we very easily could have lost her. We did not and we gladly went to dialysis for years. About 5 years later the doctors started talking transplant again. We told them we will make ourselves ready when you believe she is healthy enough. They did testing each year until they decided it was time. They saw it was time right around the time we found out about her Dad’s health failing him, he was diagnosed with terminal Brain Cancer and I was not mentally prepared to watch his life go and then risk a repeat of the first kidney transplant. I told her doctors my concerns and they agreed that I needed to be prepared so that I could continue to be her caregiver and support.

About 1 year after my husband passed on, the doctors approached me again. They said that health wise she is ready for another transplant. Some of the issues with being on dialysis for so long was becoming obvious and moving forward to transplant was what was best. They also told us that since her age, the amount of time she has been on dialysis and the list and the amount of health issues she is having she will go to the top of the list, not first as she was still doing ok with dialysis but the top meaning could get a call same day they activate. We joked and said that won’t happen we are moving in two months, we will get the call five minutes after we get our moving truck. Well we were close, we got the call the night before, it did not work out the kidney was not healthy enough. We went home , went to dialysis in the morning and prepared to move that afternoon. We moved went to sleep and 5 in the morning we got the call again.Transplant went great, Kidney started working right away and we did not experience any issues that we dealt with the first time. This time we saw what successful transplant was all about.

We followed strict lab schedules and medicines. On time without fail everyday. Followed rules, drink tons of water!!! We did and continue to do what our doctors recommend. After the first month they did Viral Studies through blood and urine tests. They found she has the BK Virus, which is the number one reason for loss of a transplanted kidney(graft). At first it was not high in her blood and was just high in her urine. Then it started creeping up in her blood also. They reduced one of her Anti-Rejection meds, Then eventually they took her off of it. Then she started having dark and bloody urine. She spent about a week in the hospital and she wound up having angioplasty and a stent placement in her Ureter.

On this past Friday she went in for Labs. I was waiting all afternoon to hear about her lab work, of course  hoping for the best. I did not hear so I said that is probably good news, but I left a message anyway. On Monday I waited to see if they would call but they did not. Now I  said one of two things, they are totally slammed with kids that need more attention right now or they are deciding what direction they want to go with something. Yesterday I got a call from the transplant coordinator, I missed the call but her message was that she was still trying to get some information from the doctors and that she would call me in the morning. This morning came and I got a call from her Doctor. The BK is higher in her blood. Even though they took her off the one anti rejection and reduced the other and had strong antibiotics it did not boost her own immune system enough to reduce this viral load. So now tomorrow we will go to the hospital in the morning for labs, iv fluids and a medicine that will hopefully attack the virus and then more iv fluids. This medicine is pretty much a last resort at fighting this virus. This medication is also toxic to the new kidney. We will of course keep positive and hope that somehow she beats the odds, knocks out the virus and keeps the kidney. But reality has already set it that that might be the case and she can very well lose the kidney. I would love to hide in my room and cry right now but that will just scare her and right now she totally understands it that one way or another we will fight it with everything we have but we are not guaranteed a win.

On a good side though, she was approached by an organization called a second wish, my daugher was approached by Make a Wish when she was very little. She was granted a wish when she was 3. We went to Give kids the world and it was amazing, Sadly she was way to young and does not remember a thing. We have pictures and I try to show her and spark a memory but that does not happen. Well we met with the founder of this organization and she was amazing. My daughter wished to go to New York, She wants to shop, and go to shows and or museums and parks and she wants to meet her Big sister from her Dad that she has never actually met in person. We have this crazy relationship on the phone, computer and text but situations have not allowed us to be together in person. This wonderful lady is putting together this trip that surely will be a highlight of her childhood. So with all the good comes bad and with all the bad comes good.

I am hoping tomorrow goes smoothly and that this medicine does not make her feel like crap. Doc said it should not, hoping it all goes ok and that her kidney finds a happy balance. But no matter what the outcome she will have me and her brother and sister and other family members that adore her and will do whatever to make her at peace with whatever her body does.

Sunday mornings random thoughts…

When I wake up feeling pretty good, I like to take advantage. I get up start my coffee, clean up the mess my son leaves overnight in the kitchen. If the weather and my knees permit, I like to go for a morning walk. I don’t like to walk in the heat or pouring rain. This morning was perfect. I got up and said wow it’s sunny and cold a perfect morning for a walk.

I grew up in New York. Long Island until I was 12 and then Queens. I was by nature a city girl. I love the excitement of it all and I most especially loved the people watching. My friends and I would go into “The City”(Manhattan) , go to Washington Square Park and people watch. I am sure we did more stuff but that is what my memories like to serve me.

With that being said I am the kind of person who say’s Good Morning, or Hi. I usually smile and go on about my business. I do not expect people that are random strangers to stop their lives to politely give me small talk. I do, however expect a simple return smile or a quick Hi.

Is that a lost way? Do people not say Hi to random strangers? Do they not start their day’s off looking for a way to have a good one? I am so confused. I walk past so many people on an everyday basis and I smile and say Hi to most of them. The ones I do not smile and say Hi to are the ones who never smile back. I have neighbors that walk down the stairs with me most mornings and won’t utter a Good Morning back. Now I choose to walk behind them so I don’t have to let them see the disappointment on my face. Why I allow this to disappoint me I have no clue. I just am friendly and kind and prefer to be around like minded people.

I have been told over and over what Rude people New Yorkers are. I am usually appalled by it. Perhaps it is just my own personal experiences. I really don’t know but I have been in Florida for 24 years now. I have yet to live in a neighborhood with friendly people. I have had friendly neighbors after I forced my friendliness on them. I am not aggressive by any means but I am persistent.

I really thought when I moved into my current apartment complex that I would meet some nice people. I thought there people here are basically in the same financial boat as me. Likely there are a lot of single parents as this is an income restricted complex. Boy was I wrong the people here are mostly rude. I just walked past two neighbors in the hallway that were so busy not saying Hi back that they damn near fell down the steps. I walked past a young girl, perhaps 14 or 15 I smiled and said Good Morning, Nice morning for a walk and she rolled her eyes at me.

I sure hope my experiences are limited and that there are still polite, friendly people walking this earth. Either way, I always see it this way. When I go to bed at night , I have no concern that I have brought anyone else any harm for that day. I feel like I did my best to be a good person and be nice and polite to people. So I don’t lose sleep over it, but it does sadden me to know that something a easy as a smile is something people even young people just don’t do. Perhaps they do it only in closed enviornments? Maybe their families have thought them that everyone is a stranger and horrible people so never smile , never be nice to random people? I don’t know but surely one thing I know I will keep being me. I will keep doing the same things I do and hopefully maybe just maybe it will rub off on others.

The Journey to my Daughter’s Kidney Transplant

Part 1

 

My daughter is almost 12. She was born with a condition called VACTERL/VATER or Sacral Agenesis or Caudal Regression. They all basically mean the same thing. They basically mean that my little one is really complicated. Her first 48 hours started off with fear, surgery, uncertainty and some more fear. They also started with Love. You can’t imagine the emotion seeing your tiny little person so sick and so helpless, yet so full of life. She may have been complicated but she sure was a little  fighter. Time past and we learned of just what all this would mean and the amount of actual health-care she would need just to be ok.

It was in those first few days that we learned about her Kidney’s. We actually knew from sonograms that she was likely to have Kidney problems. We were also told people live with one Kidney. We did not make that our biggest concern at the time. The next 4 years we learned so many things. We watched her endure, surgery after surgery, sickness after sickness, pain after pain. When she was 3 we watched her Kidney Function go down. By the time she was 4 it was obvious that she would be on dialysis before to much longer.

When she was 4 she had her dialysis catheter placed and she started dialysis that day. By the time she was 5 we had gone to LifeLink for Transplant evaluation and to see if either myself or her Dad would be a match. Neither of us was a match for her. The few family members that would have been willing to test for her, had other health issues that automatically disqualified them. A living donor from a family member was not in the cards. That was not the worst news. There was good news. She was an excellent candidate for a cadaver donor. Although no one likes the idea that someone will die for you to live, the reality is that person will die anyway and they or their family chose to make the worst possible scenario, a little less, not so bad.  As my daughter was so young and had already endured so many health issues she was placed fairly high on the transplant list.

Just over a year on dialysis, we got “The Call”. I will never forget when the phone rang early in the morning. We were all up, I was getting ready for work, we were all getting ready for dialysis and school. My husband saw the phone and right away recognized the phone number as he was the one taking her to dialysis and appointments while I worked(there are lots of stories inserted here for future reference), He told me, Get the phone it’s yours ringing. (as I later found out he already told the Doctors, like she is always at work and feels bad that she does not go to dialysis please call her when the call comes) So I answer and I start crying like the sap that  I am . So instead of going to work and school, we ditch the book bags and all head to the hospital. They do a normal dialysis treatment, and everyone is talking and excited and there is so much going on. Our unit was blessed with not one match, but two. My daughter and another little boy(her kidney brother as we fondly call him) were to receive a kidney that day back to back. My daughter was second as she is more complicated and well I don’t really know why but that was the decision they made for whatever reason they made it.

I remember making phone calls, my Dad, my sisters, my job and so on. I remember one of the supervisors at my job telling me that everything is not as easy as I am making it sound so I should prepare myself that this is a big surgery for my daughter. I remember thinking why is she always such a bitch. Well in turn she was right. The surgery went off perfectly. The surgeon was pleased with the way things went and off to ICU she went and we not very patiently waiting to be able to see her. Soon enough we were all really excited, looking forward to everything positive that would come from her having healthy kidney. It was something we just can’t describe unless you truly witness and experience on a personal level. The gratitude for the family that made the unselfish decision to donate. The gratitude for top of the line surgeons that can get a kidney in a child that has no bladder and everything has totally been re-constructed.

That night she started producing urine. The doctors were ok with the amount but not thrilled. They told us that she is so sedated that we should go home and rest as when she starts waking up it will hurt and she will need tons of attention getting her comfortable. We listened. Very early the next morning we went back to the hospital. Sat quietly with her and waited for the doctors. They said that the kidney needs to wake up. This is not uncommon and there are big technical words to describe and explain all this. They continued to work at getting her kidney going. Lots of going ons. Finally she started waking up and they were able to get her off the vent. This was a fabulous day. We were so happy to see a little progress after several days of watching her basically sedated.

When we put her to bed everything was really looking up. Nurses assured us go home. Better for the kids to sleep in their bed than sleep in the waiting room. They need to have somewhat of a normal life. Well well all went home. It was my husband, the girls and my son and we were tired, excited and hopeful. We Just got home and we were hungry we started making some scrambled eggs. Just the second I flipped off the the stove the phone rang. It was the nurse. She said  you should get back to the hospital, you daughter had an episode, she stopped breathing and we are putting her back on the vent. We flew out of the house so fast that we literally arrived, with the kids upstairs as they were still intubating her. It was the scariest possible moment I ever could tell you about, except if I keep writing and I fast forward 6 almost 7 years later, I will tell you so many more scary and even scarier moments.

So, now the next 9 weeks pass. She is on and off the vent for various reasons. She is back on dialysis. Our dialysis nurse was our save all. The only time we felt comfortable actually going home and being home for 3 hours together. The doctors still held  high hopes the kidney would recover. A biopsy revealed that their hopes were founded. This kidney should recover. We watched and worried and hoped. Each day passed and those hopes started to fade. After the initial night that she had the breathing event, I spent every night in the hospital. Feeling like I would neglect one child for the next I struggled with the whole situation I was facing. My daughters health was literally in the balance. I would sit in the morning when the doctors would do rounds and listen. I would hear these brilliant voices discussing my child. They would talk if we do this , this will happen and if we adjust would this cause this to happen. It was like she was a puzzle that required great intelligence as well as balance. You must piece together this puzzle while you stand on a balance beam suspended in the air. That was what I saw. I continued to gain admiration for my daughters medical staff. I continued to be thankful for my family. My husband forced me to toughen up and be brave so I can take whatever may come. I would cry to him and he would cry to me and then we would say no time for crying, time for being tough. We were but our family struggled. We had two children suffering, with being distracted in school or missing school. We had one child who’s life was supposed to be getting better get worse.

 

During that 9 weeks, eventually she did lose the kidney. After everything she went through. Us watching her in a medically induced coma for so long and her being on life support caused fluid in the lungs and things were truly not looking good. Our doctors knew that they must piece together this puzzle and balance and that she would eventually be ok. After they removed the failing kidney they were able to get her back to her normal with dialysis and lots of medication in a few short weeks. ….

For more of our Journey through Kidney Transplant see Part 2